My daughter just walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car. Take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother."
Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said...
"Dad I have decided to work for Obama's re-election campaign."
Thursday, September 29, 2011
If I Had A Daughter This Dumb
Cattle Guard Security
Subj: Cattle Guards
Joe asks for 6 months of retraining for 'Cattle Guards'! I guess we know now that Joe Biden's "Barbarians at the gates" are'nt the TEA PARTY members
as he told his many Union followers, but idiots like Joe and Barack Obama who don't know the damn difference between a cattle gate... and a border guard. We're all in BiG TROUBLE, at least until NOVEMBER 2012....when we can lead political no-nothing's like Joe and Barack "OUT TO PASTURE" for good!
,,,,,
You will love this one; I haven't stop laughing yet.
For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the 'guards', probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. (People in the south also know what cattle guards are.)
A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the cattle guards immediately!
Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden intervened with a request that...before any cattle guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining to become Arizona border guards. "Times are hard", said Joe Biden, "it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!"
And these two guys are running our country.
Thoughts On Deer Hunting
How Deer Think Great Quote! Deer Hunting Story...even if you
don't care about hunting...Gotta Love Ted! Ted Nugent, rock star and
avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal
journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to
deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last
thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my
friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother? Nugent
replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care
about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and
can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats
in Congress.' The interview ended.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Post-American World
Snopes says this is the real book. No photoshop used here. See how many pages are left? I say we get him out of office before he finishes this book…what do you think?
*He just gave himself a timeline* ……JERK!
If each person sends this to a minimum of twenty people on their address
list, in three days, all people in The United States of America would have
the message.
The name of the book Obama is reading is called:
The Post-American World, and it was written by a fellow Muslim.
"Post" America means the world After America ! Please forward this picture to everyone you know,
Conservative or liberal. We must expose Obama's radical ideas and his intent to bring down our beloved America !
How To Clean A Toilet
How to clean a toilet
This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Yours Sincerely,
The Dog
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Quote Of The Day
Quote of the Day
“Fathom for a moment, please, the hypocrisy of a Government that will require every citizen to prove they are insured . . . . but not everyone to prove they are a citizen!”
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